Ultimate Mascot Madness Final Four
Click here for an Introduction and Play-In Round results. Click here for First Round results. Click here for Second Round results. Click here for Third Round results. Click here for results from the Sweet 16 and Elite Eight.
The ball is tipped
But there’s no ball
An epic mascot fight
Give it all you are
Bears, ducks, and storms
Mascot fest
Now the question is
Which one’s the best?
One Shining Moment
It’s kind of absurd
One Shining Moment
When knights fight some birds
That One Shining Moment, you fought all the way
One Shining Moment, you knew
One Shining Moment, in a mascot melee
One Shining Moment, you knew
One Shining Moment
Semifinals
#9 Miami Hurricanes over #34 Canisius Golden Griffins - It has been quite the run for the Golden Griffins: from the Play-In Tournament to an epic run through the East Region. However, their mighty lion-eagleness is no match for a Hurricane which would completely incapacitate the Griffin’s go-to attack of flight. Plus how does one stop a hurricane? Will some college take notice of Mascot Madness and nickname their school the Weather Wizards?
#26 Iowa State Cyclones over #19 UC Santa Barbara Gauchos - Another obvious result. The legendary Gauchos got hot in the West Region and took out some tough human opponents with their more modern weaponry. Yet again, they were no match for unbridled ferocity of a natural disaster.
Ultimate Mascot Madness Championship
#26 Iowa State Cyclones over #9 Miami Hurricanes - An anticlimax of sorts since Iowa State’s Sweet 16 victory of the Tulsa Golden Hurricane already established our concept that a tornado—which is what Iowa State means by Cyclone—has higher top-speed winds (302 mph) than a Hurricane (190 mph).
But Mascot Madness is not really about the result. It’s about the journey and the friends that we made along the way. It is about the obscure corners of the internet to which we venture in order to figure out questions of great importance like “How did medieval art depict knights faring against griffins?” or “How good of a swimmer is a lion?” or “Are there any legendary tales in which a saint has a prayer against a dragon?” (Answers: mixed results, decent but not great, and heck yes).
So thank you for going on this absurd journey with us. Even though the NCAA Tournament was cancelled and it looked Mascot Madness could not go on, we instead took Division I’s 142 unique mascots and determined who was the ultimate champion. Congratulations to the Iowa State Cyclones and congratulations to us all.
