May 4th is a good day. We took a pun (“May the fourth be with you”) and created an unofficial holiday out of it. In honor of Star Wars Day, I decided to do what people on the internet love to do: make lists about completely subjective things. The main event is my Tier Ranking for Star Wars films. People will often ask me what my favorite Star Wars movie is and that is actually a difficult question to answer. Partly because my favorite can change with whichever movie I am watching and partly because only a Sith deals in absolutes. Over the years, I have organized the Skywalker Saga (plus the two Star Wars Story movies) into 5 tiers. For the first time I am publishing it so the internet can tell me I’m wrong.
Tier 1: The Best of the Best
Episode IV - A New Hope
Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
Tier 2: Great Movies That I Regularly Think Should Be in Tier 1 When I Watch Them
Rogue One
Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
Episode VII - The Force Awakens
Tier 3: Flawed Movies That Still Have Their Moments
Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker
Tier 4: A Fine Movie That I Usually Forget Exists
Solo
Tier 5: “I don’t like sand.”
Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Best Jedi
1. Luke Skywalker
2a. Obi-Wan Kenobi
2b. Ahsoka Tano
4. Rey Skywalker
5. Qui-Gon Jinn
“Where’s Yoda?” you ask. Listen, I love Yoda. He’s great. I love wily, old Yoda giving Luke the business. But Palpatine rose to power and the entire Jedi Order nearly got obliterated on Yoda’s watch. You can’t be Top 5 with that on your resume.
Best Lightsaber Battle
1. Duel of the Fates (Episode I - The Phantom Menace)
2. Emperor’s Throne Room (Episode VI - Return of the Jedi)
3. Rey & Kylo Ren vs. Praetorian Guard (Episode VIII - The Last Jedi)
4. Anakin vs. Obi-Wan (Episode III - Revenge of the Sith)
5. Rey vs. Kylo Ren on Starkiller Base (Episode VII - The Force Awakens)
Duel of the Fates would have been a Top 5, regardless, but would it have been #1 without John Williams’ transcendent score?
Best Droids
1. R2-D2
2. BB-8
3. K2SO
4. IG-11
5. L3-37
I just want a Disney+ show where R2 and BB-8 go on adventures together.
Best Non-Humanoid Characters
1. Grogu
2. Chewbacca
3. Admiral Ackbar
4. Wicket W. Warrick
5. Kuiil
Two facts to know about our household: 1) I do a very good impersonation of Ackbar exclaiming “It’s a trap!” I am very proud of it. 2) Whenever Kuiil is mentioned by myself or the boys, we let out an anguished “KUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!” because we are still not over him losing his life protecting Baby Yoda.
Best Pilots
1. Anakin Skywalker
2. Hera Syndulla
3. Luke Skywalker
4. Han Solo
5. Poe Dameron
A question about Han and Poe: Were they actually good pilots or were they brazenly reckless and just lucky? I guess you can’t argue with the results.
Coolest Ships
1. X-Wing
2. Millennium Falcon
3. Darth Vader’s TIE Fighter
4. Naboo Starfighter
5. Razor Crest
Does anybody remember the Nintendo 64 game Rogue Squadron and how they kept the Naboo Starfighter secret in the game for like a year until The Phantom Menace came out? Younger me thought that was really cool.
5 Characters I Would Like to See More Stories About
1. Finn
2. Captain Rex
3. Admiral Ackbar
4. Maz Kanata
5. Wedge Antilles
